“This is a three billion dollar class action lawsuit. In the morning, I have to call my board. I have to tell them that the architect of our defense was arrested for running naked in the street. What sickness is he talking about?”
Tilda Swinton - Karen Crowder

“- Charlie Gordon: Should've had him neutered.
- Liz LaBreche: Oh, I did, ha ha. Except I used an attorney instead of a doctor.”

Walter Matthau - Charlie Gordon
Dyan Cannon - Liz LaBreche

“I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know.”

Josh Lucas - Jake Perry

Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of "That's mine, this is yours".
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“If you want your dog back, call my lawyer.”

Debi Mazar - Regina