Kathleen Turner quotes
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: There it is, darling. Your new home. The House of Hfuhruhurr.
- Dolores: What are those assholes doing on the porch?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Those aren't assholes. It's pronounced "azaleas".
“- Oliver Rose: I think you owe me a solid reason. I worked my ass off for you and the kids to have a nice life and you owe me a reason that makes sense. I want to hear it.
- Barbara Rose: Because. When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.”
“Never underestimate a man's ability to underestimate a woman.”
“- Alberta Russell: Lucy, it's interesting how you always wear black and deny yourself food.
- Lucy Trager: It's not that interesting, really.”
“- Richard Norvik: I have this theory that time is like a burrito. A burrito is this mexican food that I had when my parents took me to Disneyland.
- Peggy Sue: I know what a burrito is.”
“How much romance can one woman take?”
“When in doubt, hesitate!”
“- Peggy Sue: We got married too young and ended up blaming each other for all the things we missed.
- Carol Heath: So, he started having affairs and you started getting depressed.”
- Chip: Mom, are you a serial killer?
- Beverly R. Sutphin: The only "serial" I know anything about is Rice Krispies.
“- Joan: You have no right to keep me here against my will!
- Omar: Then go. You're free to leave. Should you leave, I will not stop you... but I will not provide transportation to any airport, train station or port for you. Besides, only the worst kind of fool will attempt to cross our desert alone.”
“Women are responsible for creating their own roles.”
“- Peggy Sue: I think I had a heart attack and died at the reunion!
- Richard Norvik: Well, you look great for a corpse.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: Cheers!
- Fraida: Whoa! Wait. Where'd you get that?
- Lloyd Christmas: The Slurpee machine in the back.
- Fraida: That's embalming fluid.
- Lloyd Christmas: Oh. Does it have aspartame?
- Fraida: No.
- Lloyd Christmas: Cool.”
“I get so excited when you get angry. It makes me feel so much closer to the reading of the will.”
“- Matty: Would you get me a paper towel or something? Dip it in some cold water.
- Ned: Right away. I'll even wipe if off for you.
- Matty: You don't want to lick it?”
“- Irene Walker: I can't get over it. What kinda creep wouldn't catch a baby? If it was real it coulda been crippled for life.
- Charley Partanna: He wasn't paid to bodyguard the baby.”
“- Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
- Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
- Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.”
“- Joan Wilder: I need to get to Cartagena.
- Jack T. Colton: Cartagena? Angel, you are hell and gone from Cartagena. Cartagena's over there on the coast.
- Joan Wilder: But they told me this bus.
- Jack T. Colton: Who told you that? Who told you this bus was going to Cartagena?
- Joan Wilder: That man...
- Jack T. Colton: That nice man who...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Some men, once they get a whiff of it, they trail you like a hound.”
“- Peggy Sue: Grandpa, if you had a chance to go back and do it all differently, what would you have changed?
- Barney Alvorg: Well, I would have taken better care of my teeth.”