“- Melissa Robinson: Ace get out of the tank.
- Ace Ventura: I just can't do it captain, I don't have the power!”
Courteney Cox - Melissa Robinson

“I'm watching how ridiculous everyone else looks, and I wonder why they don't realize it. Then I see that in fact, I too look like a fool. Yet it's so much fun that none of us can stop. If we stopped, we'd have nothing.”

Joanna Lumley - Elinor Glyn

“- Indian Bartender: Um, let me get this straight. I am talking to a priest who went on a bender because his best friend, a rabbi, stole his girl.
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Right.
- Indian Bartender: Thank you. I want to thank you for telling me this story.
- Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Why?
- Indian Bartender: Because now I can retire.”
Brian George - Indian Bartender
Edward Norton - Father Brian Finn

“- Claire Colburn: Do you ever just think I'm fooling everybody?
- Drew Baylor: You have no idea.”
Kirsten Dunst - Claire Colburn
Orlando Bloom - Drew Baylor

You guys think you're so fucking cool, it makes me sick! “Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!” We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
David Spade - Shiloh