“- Valerie Brown: Who else thinks that Fiona's a freak?
- Melody Valentine: I'm so glad you said that, because as soon as you said her name, I got the most awful sensation. Like this ice-cold chill creeping up my spine.”
Rosario Dawson - Valerie Brown
Tara Reid - Melody Valentine

“- Jeff Badger: You are the sheriff wife now. It would be very embarrassing for you to know who I am.
- Flower Belle Lee: I've never been embarrassed in my life.”
Joseph Calleia - Jeff Badger
Mae West - Flower Belle Lee

“- Macaulay Connor: It can't be anything like love, can it?
- Tracy Lord: No, no, it can't be.
- Macaulay Connor: Would it be inconvenient?
- Tracy Lord: Terribly.”
James Stewart - Macaulay Connor
Katharine Hepburn - Tracy Lord

“- Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski: I hope you'll forgive me if I acted a little clumsy, but this is the first time I ever met an actress.
- Maria Tura: Lieutenant, this is the first time I've ever met a man who could drop three tons of dynamite in two minutes.”
Robert Stack - Lieutenant Stanislav Sobinski
Carole Lombard - Maria Tura

“- Muddy Grimmes: What are your names?
- Butt-head: Butt-head.
- Beavis: I'm Beavis.
- Muddy Grimmes: Well, that's all right. I'd rather not know your real names, anyway. Mine's Muddy.”

Bruce Willis - Muddy Grimes
Mike Judge - Butt-Head
Mike Judge - Beavis