“- Clark Griswold: Could I do your back, honey?
- Ellen Griswold: I've already done my back.
- Clark Griswold: Could I do your front?
- Ellen Griswold: Go do your own front.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Miss Millie: Your children are so clean. Would you like to work for me, be my maid?
- Sofia: Hell no.”
Dana Ivey - Miss Millie
Oprah Winfrey - Sofia

“- Dr. Austin Sloper: How is it possible to protect such a willing victim?
- Lavinia Penniman: You will kill her if you deny her this marriage.
- Dr. Austin Sloper: You forget I'm a doctor. People don't die of such things.”

Ralph David Richardson - Dr. Austin Sloper
Miriam Hopkins - Lavinia Penniman

“- Leonard Marliston: Cindy, come on, I think it's important in time like this, we offer each other some support.
- Cindy: I'd like to offer the killer's ass some support... in the fucking electric chair.”
Jay Mohr - Leonard Marliston
Kristen Miller - Cindy

“I tried to put my tongue in her mouth and she punched me in the penis.”

Paul Giamatti - Veal Chop