“Mandatory AIDS testing for all government employees. I guess that means you, Buckner. I wouldn't worry though, you look like a practitioner of safe sex. As a matter of fact, you look like a practitioner of no sex.”
Dennis Hopper - Huey Walker

“- Pepi Katona: I would say it's a nervous breakdown. What do you think?
- Doctor: It appears to be an acute epileptoid manifestation and a pan phobic melancholiac with indication of a neurasthenia cordus.
- Pepi Katona: Is that more expensive than a nervous breakdown?”

William Tracy - Pepi Katona
Edwin Maxwell - Doctor

“I'll tell you my approach to medicine! It is a game in which man pits his brains against the forces of destruction and disease.”

Claude Rains - Dr. Alexander Tower

“I remember when I was a kid, there were two medicines: aspirin and Campho-Phenique, that was it. They advertise these prescriptions, and half the time, the side effects are 50 times worse than what the thing cures!”
Jeff Foxworthy - Himself

“You can survive a stroke, but the high prices of medicine will give you a heart attack.”
Bernie Mac - Mitch Gilliam