“- Asian Minister: Civil or religious?
- Chuck Levine: Religious. I'm Jewish, I don't wanna piss my mother off.
- Larry Valentine: I'm Catholic, I don't wanna piss Mel Gibson off.”
Rob Schneider - Asian Minster
Adam Sandler - Chuck Levine
Kevin James - Larrie Valentine

“I'm not looking for an easy religion. I'm looking for one I can bring my family up decent in.”
Dean Jagger - Brigham Young

“You have forgotten the love of Jesus. You disregard His sacrifice. Death, fear, flames, horror and black clothes. Hold your meeting then, but know if you do this in the name of God and in the house of God, you blaspheme against Him and His Word.”

Walter Pidgeon - Mr. Gruffydd

“I believe in the Bible and I'm a-believing that this here life we're a-living is something the Lord done give us and we got to be a-living it the best we can, and I'm a-figuring that killing other folks ain't no part of what he was intendin' for us to be a-doing here.”

Gary Cooper - Alvin C. York

“I ain't a-going to war. War's killing, and the Book's agin' killing! So war is agin' the Book!”
Gary Cooper - Alvin C. York