“- Tori: I am so glad I got waxed today.
- Karen: Ugh, me too. What did you get?
- Tori: The Bald Eagle.
- Karen: I got the Bermuda Triangle.
- Lisa: The Landing Strip.
- Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] I got the Buckwheat.”
Jessica Cauffiel - Tori
Busy Philipps - Karen
Jennifer Carpenter - Lisa
Marlon Wayans - Marcus Copeland

“- Max Minot: She's more than beautiful. She's got this way she looks at you, just... just stop your heart, you know? And make it start back up again. You know any girls like that?
- Charlie Barret: Yeah. All of them.”
Sean Patrick Flanery - Max Minot
Christopher Walken - Charlie Barret

“Little girls should be told how pretty they are. They should grow up knowing how much their mother loves them.”
Michelle Williams - Marilyn Monroe

- Ada Kurtzman: What do you mean "she's attractive"?
- Ben Kurtzman: Pretty.
- Ada Kurtzman: Oh my God...
- Ben Kurtzman: Mom, I said she was attractive, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm attracted to her!

Bebe Neuwirth - Ada Kurtzman
Ben Foster - Ben Kurtzman

“- Theseus: The most beautiful girl in the world is here in Sparta.
- Pirithous: She's just a child!
- Theseus: I'll ripen her like grapes; I'll age her like wine. When she ages just enough, I'll taste her.”
Stellan Skarsgård - Theseus
Jim Carter - Pirithous