“- Lila Dubois: You know what they say about cello players- they like to do it in a chair with their legs spread wide.
- Dylan Ramsey: Ma'am, we have a dog in our presence!”
Sophie Marceau - Lila Dubois
David Spade - Dylan Ramsey

“- Jack Willis: You have to watch your mouth. No bloodys, buggers, Jesus...
- Ruby Vale: Fuck. If I can't say bugger or Jesus, what can I say?”

Hugh Jackman - Jack Willis
Claudia Karvan - Ruby Vale

“- Milly: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners, too.
- Adam Pontipee: What do I need manners for? I already got me a wife.”
Jane Powell - Milly
Howard Keel - Adam Pontipee

“- Beverly R. Sutphin: I'm so happy I could shit.
- Beverly: Chip, you know how I hate the brown word.”
Matthew Lillard - Chip
Kathleen Turner - Beverly R. Sutphin

- Marla Stewart: Could you say one sentence without the word "fuck" in it?
- Capt. Gregory Fanducci: Sorry. Would you like a Pez?
- Marla Stewart: No.
- Capt. Gregory Fanducci: Best fucking candy in the world!
Joan Severance - Marla Stewart
Peter Riegert - Capt. Gregory Fanducci