“- Yang: And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
- Pugsley Addams: Our parents are having a baby, too.
- Wednesday Addams: They had sex.”
Micah Hata - Yang
Jimmy Workman - Pugsley Addams
Christina Ricci - Wednesday Addams

“My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I.”
George Carlin - Architect

“- Nanny: And speaking of children...
- Anita: Roger, darling, l've got the most wonderful news.”
Joan Plowright - Nanny

“- Christof: In competition with five other unwanted pregnancies, the casting of a show determined by an airdate, Truman was the one who arrived on cue.
- Mike Michaelson: Incidentally, I believe Truman is the first child to have been legally adopted by a corporation?
- Christof: That's correct.”

Ed Harris - Christof
Harry Shearer - Mike Michaelson

“- Stan Bobrucz: Why don't we just keep it.
- Mr. Bobrucz: Grow up! You had a gerbil last year, you forgot to feed it, it died. This baby is going up for adoption, period.
- Donna Elliot: No. Darcy is not going to lug this baby around for nine months and get stretch marks so you could give it up to Catholic charities.”
Randall Batinkoff - Stan Bobrucz
Kenneth Mars - Mr. Bobrucz
Miriam Flynn - Donna Elliot