“Nice place you got here. Who's your decorator? Darth Vader?”
Dennis Quaid - Alex Gardner

“- Alex: Dude, your bed is a car.
- Jeff: Yeah, but it’s a fucking sweet car!”
Allen Covert - Alex

“I'm just a little tense. This whole office is not Feng Shui. All the desks are facing evil.”
Sean Whalen - Merkin

“- Larry: Don't worry. This stuff means nothing to me. It all goes.
- Julia: I thought half of it was your brothers?
- Larry: I've never known him to kick cash out of bed, and besides, he's probably behind bars someplace.”

Andrew Robinson - Larry
Clare Higgins - Julia

“No no, little boy! We mustn't sit on the chair. Do you know why? Because this is a priceless, irreplaceable piece of fine art from another millennium. And you... are a not-quite-formed, piece of temporary plasmic rubbish taking up space on this already overcrowded planet!”

Jeff Bridges - Rupert