“- Brenda Morelli Cushman: What's wrong?
- Jilted Lover: It's my lover. She left me for this younger woman that weighs twelve pounds.”
Bette Midler - Brenda Morelli Cushman
Debra Monk - Jilted Lover

“Hi. I’m Eep. In my defense, I had been living in a cave my whole life, and I didn’t really come across other people very often, let alone a boy! And to think, the only two teenagers in the world, and we found each other. It’s like fate brought us together. My whole family loved him, except for dad. But eventually, Guy won him over.”
Emma Stone - Eep

“You'll excuse me, I won't join you. I find adolescence makes you nervous enough.”

Diana Lynn - Lucy Hill

“You're behaving like a romantic girl of eighteen.”

Gladys Cooper - Mrs. Henry Vale

“- Jeff Kohlver: Is this some kind of teenage joke?
- Hayley Stark: Teenage? Yeah. Joke? No.”
Patrick Wilson - Jeff Kohlver
Ellen Page - Hayley Stark