“Why, does it come off?”

Matthew Perry - Alex Whitman

Before you have a kid, everyone tells you, "It's the best thing you'll ever do." And as soon as you get the baby back from the hospital, those same people are like, "Don't worry, it gets better."
Adam Horovitz - Fletcher

“The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. But... before the sun sets on her 16th birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die!”
Eleanor Audley - Maleficent

“- Phil Deedle: Why can't we have a birthday off like everyone else?
- Elton Deedle: Who's everyone else?
- Stew Deedle: Washington, Lincoln... the baby JesusDad!”
Paul William Walker IV - Phil Deedle
Eric Braeden - Elton Deedle
Steve Van Wormer - Stew Deedle

“- Marco: Your birthday is soon, right? Like next week?
- Jimmie Shannon: No, it's not next week.
- Marco: Thank God.
- Jimmie Shannon: It's tomorrow!”
Artie Lange - Marco
Chris O'Donnell - Jimmie Shannon