“There's always a happy ending. And our focus groups tell us 18 to 35 year olds are unhappy. They're not happy with happy. So maybe you should spend more time figuring out how to stop 20 year olds from changing the channel.”

Kari Wahlgren - Mindy

“You gotta mix a little reality in with your imagination to achieve happiness in your life. And you've gotta overcome your programming - which in your case is a thirty-year-old television show.”
William Shatner - Bill

“Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.”

Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“- Daniel Schorr: There's a tiny camera looking at you right now.
- Nicholas Van Orton: That's impossible.
- Daniel Schorr: You're right, impossible. You're having a conversation with your television.”

Daniel Schorr - Daniel Schorr
Michael Douglas - Nicholas Van Orton

“- Neville Coltrane: Mate, Beijing called. We've got the television rights to their public executions.
- Rod McCain: Worldwide?
- Neville Coltrane: Five guys a week, guaranteed.
- Rod McCain: Beauty.”
Bille Brown - Neville Coltrane
Kevin Kline - Rod McCain