- Barbara Jane Fuchs: Come down and see the, uh, mile of cars we have on our lot.
- Rudy: Did she just say "mile of cars"? She said she had a "mile of cars".
- Big Jim: That's the most blatant claim of false advertising I ever heard in my life.
Deborah Harmon - Barbara Fuchs
Kurt Russell - Rudy Russo
Frank McRae - Jim the Mechanic

“Sorry, folks. Park's closed. The moose out front shoulda told ya.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld

“Metamucil. It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you get cancer and die.”
J. T. Walsh - Drucker

“- Reporter: Should we believe the hype?
- Boobie Miles: What hype?
- Reporter: The hype about Boobie Miles.
- Boobie Miles: Now hype is something that's not for real. I'm all real.”
Robert Flores - Reporter
Derek Luke - Boobie Miles

“When Jesus comes back he's going to have to give them a 2 day advanced notice, so they can make one of those little graph things.”
Kevin Spacey - Larry Mann