“If your manner of speech is in any way a reflection of what goes on inside your head, you are lucky you can tie your shoes.”
Meg Ryan - Bonnie

“- Gaear Grimsrud: Shut the fuck up! Or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know?
- Carl Showalter: Jesus, that's more than I've heard you say all week.”

Peter Stormare - Gaear Grimsrud
Steve Buscemi - Carl Showalter

- Carl Showalter: You ever been to Minneapolis?
- Gaear Grimsrud: Nope.
- Carl Showalter: Would it... kill you to say something?
- Gaear Grimsrud: I did.
- Carl Showalter: "No". That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a fountain of conversation there, buddy. That's a geyser.
Steve Buscemi - Carl Showalter
Peter Stormare - Gaear Grimsrud

“- Ivan Checkov: I am Ivan Checkov, and you will be closing now.
- Murphy: Checkov? Well, this here's McCoy. We find a Spock, we got us an away team.”

Scott Griffith - Ivan Checkov
Norman Reedus - Murphy MacManus

“- Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
- Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
- Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
- Jack Horner: Those are some great names.”
Burt Reynolds - Jack Horner
Mark Wahlberg - Dirk Diggler
John C. Reilly - Reed Rothchild