“- Rizzo the Rat: I sold my collection of rare cheese to buy you this crystal petri dish for your mold collection.
- The Great Gonzo: I sold my mold collection to buy you this diamond-tipped cheese slicer.
- Rizzo the Rat: Did you save the receipt?”
Steve Whitmire - Rizzo the Rat
Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo

“- Shelly Stewart: I bought the car for you! It was only 300 grand! It was a gift!
- Morton Cushman: With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift!
- Shelly Stewart: Jesus, Morty, all I want is a lifestyle, y'know - with some ambiance and some classic eternal good taste!”

Sarah Jessica Parker - Shelly Stewart
Dan Hedaya - Morton Cushman

“- Coach Wally Rig: I brought these for you. - Coach Ed Gennero: Thank you. They're lovely.
- Coach Wally Rig: I hope you don't mind - I had to charge them to your room. I'm a little short this week.”

Robert Loggia - Coach Wally Rig
Héctor Elizondo - Coach Ed Gennero

“- Aunt Vesta: Here you go, little girl [Hands C.C. some money].
- Young C.C.: What's this for?
- Aunt Vesta: It'll keep you honest.”
Carol Williard - Aunt Vesta
Mayim Bialik - CC (age 11)

“- Lt. Topper Harley: There's something I want you to have. I've been putting a little away for the past ten years. It's not much. 2500. I wish I could do more.
- Mary Thompson: Why, Topper. That's so sweet. Why, with the three million that I won on this Lucky Lotto ticket, I can take this 2500 and just blow it all on hats.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
Heidi Swedberg - Mary Thompson