“- Mrs. Hill: You don't look nothing like your picture.
- Kansas Hill: Grandma and Grandpa sent you a picture of a neighbor girl. They didn't want you to break out and come kidnap me.
- Mrs. Hill: Thank God, I was starting to think I killed the wrong man.”
Sean Young - Mrs. Hill
Mena Suvari - Kansas Hill

“- Roy O'Bannon: So who are you?
- Chon Wang: I'm an Imperial Guard to the Emperor of China.
- Roy O'Bannon: China... what's with the book?
- Chon Wang: The book belongs to Princess Pei Pei. She was kidnapped from the Forbidden City.
- Roy O'Bannon: I like that, Forbidden City, a princess, kidnapped! It's so mysterious.”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

“- Blondie O'Hara: Can I have my husband back now?
- Seldom Seen: How do you want him, in a box or a sack?”
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Blondie O'Hara
Harry Belafonte - Seldom Seen

“- Bud's Pizza Attendant: Uh, Miss, I think there's something in your trunk...
- Darla: Oh that's just somebody I got tied up back there.”
Loren Guerra - Bud's Pizza Attendant
Tonie Perensky - Darla

“All of 'em probed me, uh, not all at once, you know, individually. Later on, years later, now, even still, uh, it's a funny thing, it happened on a Sunday and every Sunday about the time I was taken on board that ship I... find I have no feelings in my buttocks.”

David Cross - UFO Expert