Alan Alda quotes
“Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.”
“Getting divorced with a kid is one of the hardest things to do. It's like a death without a body.”
“- President of the United States: You sold control of American missiles to a foreign country?
- R.J. Hacker: If you can call Canada foreign.
- Stu Smiley: … or a country.”
“Comedy is tragedy plus time!”
“I'm fine! As long as I don't move my eyeballs.”
“- Michael Burgess: I'm trying to get used to how different you look. You know, you're two different people!
- Faith Healy: Oh, well, if all I could be is two different people, I'd be out of business!”
“- Richard Schlichting: You know the stuff they tell you about, you know, chromosome damage and all that stuff?
- Mel Coplin: Yeah, I do!
- Richard Schlichting: That's government propaganda.”
“New York is not the center of the god damn universe. Grant you, it's exciting, vibrant, stimulating, fabulous city; but, it is not Mecca. It just smells like it.”
“- George Peters: Did you know we've made love 113 times?
- Doris: What?
- George Peters: I figured that out on my Bowmar calculator.”
“When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other.”
“- Doris: Oh, good, he didn't ask about the girdle.
- George Peters: What?
- Doris: The girdle!
- George Peters: Oh, great! Now he probably thinks I'm a homo!”
“- George Peters: First time I had sex I was 18 years old. We were in the back seat of a parked 1938 Dodge Sedan. Right in the middle of it, we were rear-ended.
- Doris: Oh, and you didn't have any insurance?
- George Peters: No. That's not exactly what I mean. I mean, look... take last night. Do you know what the radio was playing while we were...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- George Peters: When It comes to life, I've got a brown thumb.
- Doris: What do you mean?
- George Peters: I mean that nothing I ever do turns out right.”
“I'll be honest. You're not my first choice.”
“- Doris: You know, I can really talk to you. It's just amazing. I find myself saying things to you that I didn't even know I thought. I noticed that yesterday right after we met in the restaurant.
- George Peters: We had instant rapport. Did you notice that too?
- Doris: No. But I know we really hit it off.”
“- Doris: I got pregnant when I was just 18. So I've never really had any time to just think. You know, I mean about... well, what I think about. Never mind. I don't know what I am trying to say. Some times I think I am crazy.
- George Peters: Why?
-Doris: Well, Ok, like take my life. Now, We live in a 2-bedroom duplex in downtown Oakland and we...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- George Peters: Why do you have to look so luminous? I mean, it'd make things so much easier if you woke up with puffy eyes and blotchy skin like everyone else.
- Doris: Guess God thought chubby thighs were enough.”