“- Sam McKenna: Hey, doc, what happened to your foot?
- Dr. Farthing: What I don't understand is... when you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair to me. Especially when he's gonna kill me in four days anyway.”
Artie Lange - Sam McKenna
Chevy Chase - Dr. Farthing

“- Hal: I bet on horses sometimes, but I don't really care about the money.
- Rosemary: I never read that book.
- Hal: What book?
- Rosemary: Things losers say.”
Jack Black - Hal
Gwyneth Paltrow - Rosemary

“He got over his gambling problem, but the bookies beat him to death anyway. So, he's dead. That's it.”
Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver

“- Kate: You lost your birthright... in one hand of poker.
- Luc Teyssier: I'm an asshole, what can I tell you?
- Kate: Uh-huh. So that's why he hates you and you hate him.
- Luc Teyssier: Oui... that and I slept with his wife.”

Meg Ryan - Kate
Kevin Kline - Luc Teyssier

“- Jamaal: Lee Harvey, what's the diameter of a chicken egg?
- Lee Harvey: 4.08 centimeters.
- Jamaal: No, no, what's that in inches?
- Lee Harvey: 1.61, man, what the fuck you gettin' at, man?
- Jamaal: I got ten bucks saying I can squeeze a chicken egg up his ass without it breaking.”
Anthony Anderson - Jamaal
Mongo Brownlee - Lee Harvey