“Dirty Work” quotes

(1998)
Movie Dirty Work
Title Dirty Work
Year 1998
Director Bob Saget
Genre Comedy
Plot – Sam and his friend Mitch have to earn $50.000 dollars as soon as possible: Sam's father needs an expensive heart transplant. The only problem is that none of them can find nor keep a job. Mitch’s idea is to use the only talent he has and find the best way to revenge for the injuries sustained. The two guy decide to open a vengeful agency that creates expensive revenges. They will have to deal with Travis Cole, an unscrupulous estate agent.
All actors – Norm MacDonald, Artie Lange, Jack Warden, Traylor Howard, Don Rickles, Christopher McDonald, Chevy Chase, Bradley Reid, Matt Steinberg, Joseph Sicilia, Austin Pool, Gerry Mendicino
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  • “- Sam McKenna: Hey, doc, what happened to your foot?
    - Dr. Farthing: What I don't understand is... when you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair to me. Especially when he's gonna kill me in four days anyway.”

    Artie Lange - Sam McKenna
    Chevy Chase - Dr. Farthing
  • “- Mitch Weaver: Revenge! I'm telling you, we should open a revenge-for-hire business.
    - Sam McKenna: I never heard of a revenge-for-hire business.
    - Mitch Weaver: Exactly, we'd be the first! With every genius business idea, there's gotta be a first. Like, like the guy who first thought of delivering pizza to people's houses. Or, uh, the guy who...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    Artie Lange - Sam McKenna
  • “- Mitch Weaver: Dr. Farthing, what happened to your arm?
    - Dr. Farthing: Well, it was either from sleeping on it the wrong way or bookmakers throwing me out of a speeding car.”

    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    Chevy Chase - Dr. Farthing
    [Tag:cars, gambling, wound]
  • “Note to self: making love to blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.”
    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    [Tag:advertising, sex]
  • “- Mitch Weaver: I'll tell ya what. I'll give you a dollar each if you'll go into this building here and run around yellin' and screamin'.
    - Homeless Guy: Uh, that's very nice, but I think what you probably need are, like, some psycho, out-of-control homeless guys?
    - Martin, Homeless Guy: Yeah, we're more the broken, spiritless,...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    Fred Wolf - Homeless Guy
    James Downey - Martin, Homeless Guy
  • “- Bearded Lady: Hey, baby. You ever had a chick with a beard before?
    - Mitch Weaver: Can't say that I have there, bearded broad.
    - Bearded Lady: Well, then, sugar, you haven't lived.
    - Mitch Weaver: Note to self: I don't want to live.”

    Rebecca Romijn - Bearded Lady
    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    [Tag:beard, girl, living]
  • “They say in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king, well in the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!”

    Chris Farley - Jimmy
    [Tag:king, nose, quotations]
  • “- Screen Voice #1: Look! An alien!
    - Screen Voice #2: Yeah. We'd better have sex with each other.
    [Sam McKenna discreetly looks at the screen]
    - Mitch Weaver: Note to self: Sam just looked at the screen.”

    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
  • “- Kathy: You guys are brothers?
    - Mitch Weaver: Well, it's a long story.
    - Sam McKenna: My dad boned his mom.
    - Mitch Weaver: Okay, it's a short story.”

    Traylor Howard - Kathy
    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    Artie Lange - Sam McKenna
  • “- Mitch Weaver: Hey, hey! Hey, you remember in 5th grade when I was under the monkey bars and I sneaked a peek at your sister's underwear? Remember that? Hey, no no! I was sneaking a peek at my own sister's underwear!
    - Sam McKenna: That's right! Yeah, and then remember in the 12th grade, you had sex with her?
    - Mitch Weaver: Okay, enough...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    Artie Lange - Sam McKenna
  • “You know what hurts the most is the... the lack of respect. You know? That's what hurts the most. Except for the... except for the other thing. That hurts the most. But the lack of respect hurts the second most.”

    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    [Tag:pain, rape, respect]
  • “- Mitch Weaver: There's two kinds of people in this world: those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.
    - Kathy: Where'd you come up with that theory?
    - Mitch Weaver: That famous guy said it. What's his name? Uh... oh, yeah: Jesus!”

    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
    Traylor Howard - Kathy
  • “So there you are, tubby. Look like a bucket of lard on a bad day. You baby gorilla. Why don't you work in a zoo, and stop bothering people? Got a call yesterday from Baskin Robbins. They said that they're down to only five flavors. You're swelling up as I talk to you.”

    Don Rickles - Mr. Hamilton
    [Tag:obesity]
  • “He got over his gambling problem, but the bookies beat him to death anyway. So, he's dead. That's it.”
    Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
Highlights