“- Andrews: He's no good and you know it. You married him only because I told you not to.
- Ellie: You've been telling me what not to do ever since I can remember.”

Walter Connolly - Andrews
Claudette Colbert - Ellie

“- Rose Zsigmond: I don't suppose your father gave you permission to pierce your ears?
- Vada Sultenfuss: Not exactly.
- Rose Zsigmond: Well, just don't shave your legs. Your father will never let you visit us again if I send you back hairless and full of holes.”
Christine Ebersole - Rose Zsigmond
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss

“- The Coachman: I'm collecting stupid little boys.
- J. Worthington Foulfellow: Stupid little boys?
- The Coachman: The disobedient ones who play hooky from school.”
Charles Judels - The Coachman
Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow

“Pinocchio! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smoking! Playing pool! You're coming right home with me this minute!”

Cliff Edwards - Jiminy Cricket

- Orin Hanner Sr.: You're violating my constitutional rights.
- Jack Taggart: Mr. Hanner, I promise you, as sure as you stand here now, I'm gonna show you a new meaning to the word "violation".
Kris Kristofferson - Orin Hanner Sr.
Steven Seagal - Jack Taggart