“You know what's gonna happen if I let you go? Morton is gonna call me in. Then he's going to chew my butt off. I'll be sitting there and my butt's gonna get smaller and smaller and by the time I get up, my back is going to be on my thighs. Because I won't have no butt. You wouldn't want that to happen to me, would you? Of course you wouldn't.”

Sinbad - Sam Simms

“If you do one thing I don't approve of while I'm gone, the least little thing, mind you... I'll show you what horror means!”
Fredric March - Mr. Edward Hyde

“- Annie Herman: You can't put wine in Hobo stew!
- Phyllis Nefler: Why not? What goes better with Hobos than wine?”
Mary Gross - Annie Herman
Shelley Lee Long - Phyllis Nefler

“- Sheriff Lyle 'Cottonmouth' Wallace: I am the law. Don't you understand, I represent the law.
- Martin 'Rubber Duck' Penwald: Well piss on you, and piss on your law.”
Ernest Borgnine - Sheriff Lyle 'Cottonmouth' Wallace
Kris Kristofferson - Martin 'Rubber Duck' Penwald

“- Lt. Coffey: Let's get something straight. You people are under my authority.
- Catfish De Vries: Look, partner, we don't work for you. We don't take orders from you. And we don't much like you.”
Michael Biehn - Lt. Coffey
Leo Burmester - Catfish De Vries