“First Kid” quotes

(1996)
Movie First Kid
Title First Kid
Year 1996
Director David M. Evans
Genre Comedy, Family
Plot – The son of the US president wants to live like all the other guys of his age, but he's forbidden. Due to his pranks, the agent in charge of his protection is fired and he decides to take revenge on him, but the guy will be helped by a new bodyguard.
All actors – Sinbad, Brock Pierce, Blake Boyd, Timothy Busfield, Art LaFleur, Robert Guillaume, Lisa Eichhorn, James Naughton, Fawn Reed, Erin Williby, Zachery Ty Bryan, Michael Krawic
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  • “- Luke Davenport: It sure would be a shame if I told my dad about you taking me boxing.
    - Sam Simms: It would be a shame if I threw you out that window too.”

    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    [Tag:shame, threat]
  • - Sam Simms: Don't just stand there. Say "Hello".
    - Luke Davenport: Hello!
    - Sam Simms: Just make the girl go deaf. They love that.

    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
  • “- Luke Davenport: What are you doing?
    - Sam Simms: I'm doing my job, keepin' you alive, I'm testing your food.
    - Luke Davenport: But why do you always test my cookies?”

    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    [Tag:food, taste]
  • - Luke Davenport: I only get to see my parents on the news.
    - Sam Simms: No, that's your "boo-tay" you've been seeing on the news.

    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    [Tag:news, parents, seeing]
  • “- Morton: I'm gonna be watching you, Simms, and the minute you screw up you're gonna be working mail fraud in east Cleveland. You understand me? Or am I yelling at too high a frequency?
    - Sam Simms: No, Sir, I got my ear piece in.”

    Art LaFleur - Morton
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
  • “- Luke Davenport: The kitchen's closed.
    - Sam Simms: I'm Agent Double-Oh Simms. I can get into any kitchen.”

    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    [Tag:arrogance]
  • “- Woods: I'll have a Harvey Wallbanger. Make it a Harvey Oswald.
    - Sam Simms: What's the difference?
    - Woods: Oswald has three shots.”

    Timothy Busfield - Woods
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    [Tag:drinking]
  • “- Wilkes: This is the black tie affair!
    - Sam Simms: I know, sir and I got it covered. I'm black and I'm wearing a tie.”

    Robert Guillaume - Wilkes
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
  • “- Luke Davenport: We go boxing. I could go as Reggie!
    - Sam Simms: You could go as Michael Jordan, but you ain't going.”

    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
    [Tag:boxing, character]
  • “You know what's gonna happen if I let you go? Morton is gonna call me in. Then he's going to chew my butt off. I'll be sitting there and my butt's gonna get smaller and smaller and by the time I get up, my back is going to be on my thighs. Because I won't have no butt. You wouldn't want that to happen to me, would you? Of course you wouldn't.”

    Sinbad - Sam Simms
  • “I ain't skated since I was a kid, and back then I had a pizza face. Now I got a great big pizza face!”
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
  • “- Linda Davenport: You're in high school now, and I expect you to act like it.
    - Luke Davenport: Then don't dress me in these dorky clothes.
    - Linda Davenport: You're not dressed in dorky clothes, you're in nice clothes. You look very handsome. You should consider yourself lucky.
    - Luke Davenport: I should consider myself dorky.”

    Lisa Eichhorn - Linda Davenport
    Brock Pierce - Luke Davenport
  • “- Dash: You guys suck.
    - Sam Simms: We suck, ya hear that Luke? We suck, alright, we suck! Let's make a sucky left turn here.”

    Blake Boyd - Dash
    Sinbad - Sam Simms
  • “Just be careful out there in cyberspace. Don't tell them anything.”

    Sinbad - Sam Simms
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