“- Herman: If you can't solve a traffic accident, what are you gonna do if a crime happens?
- Harry: Now boys, don't be riding Danny too hard. He's out to lead this town. We're lucky to have him. A Masters Degree in Criminology. Big cities fighting over him, and he comes back to his old home town to help us poor folks out.”
Michael Currie - Herman
Robert Englund - Harry

“- Delilah: You're not good at studying Stan, you're good at football. You should stick to what you're good at.
- Stan: Yeah, I've always been good at football, and basketball, and every other sport I've tried. I think maybe it's time I should try something I'm not so good at, something different.”

Shawn Hatosy - Delilah Profitt
Shawn Hatosy - Stan Rosado

“Hello, America, hang on to your lights: they're the only lights left in the world!”

Joel McCrea - John Jones

“This flame, like all flames, represents the light and darkness. It also represents the uncertainty of life and its delicacy.”
John Michael Higgins - Terry Bohner

“Surprise inspection. It's a special light that allows me to see if any fluids have been liberated.”

Paulo Costanzo - Ryan