“We're all dogfaces, we're all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army.”

Bill Murray - John

“You needn't be afraid, Miss Brown. Not a bit. You see, we are like... two trains, halted for a moment at the same station. But we're going in different directions.”

Charles Boyer - Georges Iscovescu

I think the biggest difference between men and women is that men are basic. Just basic. There's not a whole lot of frills. That's why, ladies, when you ask a fella a question, the answer you get is, "I don't know." Basic.
Bill Engvall - Himself

“- Ana Pascal: It's my weekly evil-conspiracy and needlepoint group. You wanna come?
- Harold Crick: I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home.”
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Ana Pascal
Will Ferrell - Harold Crick

“- Jack Gramm: We're perfect for each other.
- Shelly Barnes: Except I'm a lesbian and you're a commitment-phobe.”
Al Pacino - Jack Gramm
Amy Brenneman - Shelly Barnes