“- Mr. Peabody: Bad parents make bad children!
- Flo Healy: Oh so now I'm a bad parent just because I hate my kid!
- Mr. Peabody: You took him, he's yours!
- Little Ben Healy: That's because you conned us into him!
- Mr. Peabody: What am I supposed to do with the little creep? He's already been returned 30 times!”
Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody
Amy Yasbeck - Flo Healy
John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.

“- Matilda: I have the adoption papers.
- Mrs. Wormwood: What? Where did you get those?
- Matilda: From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to xerox.”
Mara Wilson - Matilda
Rhea Perlman - Mrs. Wormwood

“- Lawrence Bourne Jr: I must say it doesn't surprise me. You have been a constant disappointment to your mother and me ever since the day we brought you home from the orphanage.
- Lawrence Bourne III: Stop it, dad. You know I'm not adopted.
- Lawrence Bourne Jr: I know, but please, just allow me this little fantasy.”

George Plimpton - Lawrence Bourne Jr.
Tom Hanks - Lawrence Bourne III

“- Sonny Koufax: I got some interesting news.
- Lenny Koufax: Oh yeah, what?
- Sonny Koufax: I kind of adopted a kid.
- Lenny Koufax: What the hell are you talking about?
- Sonny Koufax: I'm talking about you being a grandfather! Congratulations!”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax
Joseph Bologna - Lenny Koufax

“After the tragic death of your father, I married your mother promising her I would raise you as my own. You chose not to take the Maggio name. I did not complain. And when you wanted to go to Beauty School, as boys who lose their fathers early in life often do, I did not snivel at interventions, did I?”
Christopher Walken - Salvatore 'Sal' Maggio