“My girlfriend, she loves the taste of communion wafers.”
Barry Miller - Bobby C.

“I just lost my virginity in a confessional booth! Lord have mercy!”
Giuseppe Andrews - Lex

“You ever try to not to laugh in church when something funny gets stuck in your head?”
Tom Hanks - Paul Edgecomb

“- Brian Hope: Look Charlie, some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.
- Charlie McManus: The church isn't selling anything, Brian.”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Elena: Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession.
- Alejandro Murrieta: Three days? How many sins could you have committed in three days? Come back when you have more time, please.”

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Elena
Antonio Banderas - Alejandro Murrieta