“A week ago I bought a rifle, I went to the store - I bought a rifle! I was gonna... if they told me I had a tumor, I was gonna kill myself. The only thing that might have stopped me is that my parents would be devastated. I would have to shoot them also, first. And then I have an aunt and uncle, it would've been a blood bath.”
Woody Allen - Mickey

Isn't this the point where someone says: "There's got to be a reasonable explanation for all this"?
Joan Severance - Marla Stewart

“You are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.”

Anne Hathaway - Mia Thermopolis

“Everybody's parents fucked them up. Rich kids parents gave them too much. Poor kids, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things.”
Ethan Hawke - Jesse

“- Vic: Well, I can think of a problem that's a good deal more important and you, as a parent, are ignoring it completely.
- Earl Keese: What?
- Vic: What is Elaine doing about sex? Is she getting probed?”
Dan Aykroyd - Vic
John Belushi - Earl Keese