“- Buddy Kupfer: Conal Cochran, the all time genius in the practical jokes. He invented sticky toilet paper.
- Daniel Challis: Ah!
- Buddy Kupfer: Oh you must know. The dead dwarf gag, the soft chainsaw, all his.”
Ralph Strait - Buddy Kupfer
Tom Atkins - Daniel Challis

“- Harriet Miller: How are we supposed to know what's going on?
- Rodney Miller: It's all Greek to me.”
Fiona Reid - Harriet Miller
Bruce Gray - Rodney Miller

“- Mike: Come on, let's go, I'm giving a pop quiz and I can't wait to hear the groans!
- Ian Miller: Wow! You're mean! I give a test on Hamlet but I give fair warning!”
Ian Gomez - Mike
John Corbett - Ian Miller

“What is going on? Mr. Pottery class... nice to meet ya.”
Gia Carides - Nikki

“- Enid: Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home. Therefore you are gay. Signed Tiffany and Amber.
- Rebecca: You're gonna leave that?
- Enid: Why not?”

Thora Birch - Enid
Scarlett Johansson - Rebecca