“- Jan: I mean, everybody thinks I'm this big dyke because... 'cause I wear baggy pants, I play softball, and... and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I mean, I like guys. I can't help it. I just want a big fat wiener up my...
- Andre: Amen, sister.”
Katrina Phillips - Jan
Douglas Spain - Andre

“I enjoy gay people, but I just have a slight problem with my pregnantsister being in love with one of them.”
Allison Janney - Constance Miller

“You don't tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo home to sleep with you.”
Jennifer Aniston - Nina Borowski

“- Nina Borowski: Don't you miss men?
- George Hanson: Yeah, sure. Sometimes. Don't you?
- Nina: I guess.
- George Hanson: But I don't miss them when I'm with you.”
Jennifer Aniston - Nina Borowski
Paul Rudd - George Hanson

“- Matt Mateo: I'm bisexual.
- Lucia DeLury: Puh-lease! I went to a bar mitzvah once. That doesn't make me Jewish.”
Ivan Sergei - Matt Mateo
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury