“- Buddy: It's Yom Kippur, you idiot.
- Guy: Oh, I didn't realize Ackerman was a Jewish name.
- Buddy: It's Jewish enough, especially when the big players are involved. Besides, I have a sudden need to atone for my sins.”

Kevin Spacey - Buddy Ackerman
Frank Whaley - Guy

Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob

“I believe we are the chosen people... but I wish the Almighty had chosen somebody else.”
Robin Williams - Jakob

“Oh, God of the Jews! Why didn't you make your people a race of mice?”
Robin Williams - Jakob

“- Albert Nimzicki: I'm not Jewish.
- Julius Levinson: Nobody's perfect.”

James Rebhorn - Albert Nimziki
Judd Hirsch - Julius Levinson