- Great Gam Gam: You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours!
- Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Wow! You even talk like a whore!
- Great Gam Gam: We are all whores in some ways.
Cloris Leachman - Great Gam Gam
Steve Lemme - Steve "Fink" Finklestein

“You have inherited the fortune of the Frankensteins, I trust you will not inherit their fate.”

Basil Rathbone - Baron Wolf von Frankenstein

“- Vince McCain: What about a small advance on my inheritance?
- Rod McCain: What inheritance?
- Vince McCain: I'm your son! You have to leave me something.
- Rod McCain: Why?
- Vince McCain: 'Cause you screwed up my whole childhood!
- Rod McCain: How could I have? I wasn't even there.”

Kevin Kline - Vince McCain
Kevin Kline - Rod McCain

“Now, on the day I end it all, I'd like to leave Margaret the bearded lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack the midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack. You're a short... hey, get out of there! You're in my landing space!”

Albert Brooks - Jacob the Tiger

“Anyone would think our girls look forward to a grand inheritance. When you die, our girls will be left without a roof to their head nor a penny to their name.”

Brenda Blethyn - Mrs. Bennet