“When was the last time you lost betting on me? Never. I'm probably the best investment your bank ever made.”

John Travolta - Jan Schlichtmann

“- Assistant Casino Manager: You seem to be having quite a run. Is there anything we can do for you?
- Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko: Yes, go down to your vault and tell the rest of your money to be patient, we'll be together soon.”
Ursula Burton - Assistant Casino Manager
Steve Martin - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko

“- Gloria Pazinski: All right - You think you're so hot? Put your money where your mouth is!
- Richie Rich: You mean bet?
- Tony: Yeah. $5 says she could put you away for keeps.
- Gloria: $5? How about $10?
- Richie Rich: Okay - Seems a little steep, but $10 thousand it is.”
Stephi Lineburg - Gloria Pazinski
Macaulay Culkin - Richie Rich
Michael Maccarone - Tony

“- Clive: [mockingly] I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, Ok. Then, I'll give you your body back because it soooo important to you.
- Clive: Waa waa I'm crying about my body... And then, you can just loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts.”
Rachel McAdams - Clive\Jessica

“- Hal: I bet on horses sometimes, but I don't really care about the money.
- Rosemary: I never read that book.
- Hal: What book?
- Rosemary: Things losers say.”
Jack Black - Hal
Gwyneth Paltrow - Rosemary