“Tell me, what do you think of the traffic problem? What do you think of the marriage problem? What do you think of at night when you go to bed, you beast?”
Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey Spaulding

“You'll never be a first class human being or a first class woman until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.”
Cary Grant - C. K. Dexter Haven

- Lt. Olivia D'Arcy: Stop prying into things that don't concern you.
- Lt. Janet "Davy" Davidson: Maybe it does concern me. It concerns me that the morale of this group remains high. Until you joined up, it was. You're just a troublemaker.
Veronica Lake - Lt. Olivia D'Arcy
Claudette Colbert - Lt. Janet "Davy" Davidson

- Nikolai "Kolya" Rodchenko: Please inform American embassy that I am here. I am an American citizen.
- Colonel Chaiko: What you call yourself is of no concern to us. Here, you're just a criminal.
Mikhail Baryshnikov - Nikolai "Kolya" Rodchenko
Jerzy Skolimowski - Colonel Chaiko

“- Kim: Stop It! Or I'll kill you myself!
- Jim: Bullshit!
- Jim: [to Edward who is approaching Kim] Hey, I said stay away from her!”

Winona Ryder - Kim
Anthony Michael Hall - Jim