“- Detective Marcus Burnett: [over the radio] Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
- Detective Mike Lowrey: Now, how is that information gonna help me do my job?
- Detective Marcus Burnett: They fuck just like us!”
Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says "you gotta check out one of these shows". And... it's a woman fuckin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.
Seth Rogen - Cal

“- Uhura: I'm impressed. For a moment there, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.
- James T. Kirk: Well, not only.”
Zoe Saldana - Uhura
Chris Pine - James T. Kirk

“Bear... bearfucker, do you needassistance?”

Michael Weaver - Local Officer Smy

“- Laney Boggs: Screw the dolphins.
- Jesse Jackson: A guy tried that last year, banned from Sea World for life.”
Rachael Leigh Cook - Laney Boggs
Elden Henson - Jesse Jackson