“I've been in consultation with our Director and we've decided that what has been needed in this bank for a long time is a special officer. Or, to refer to the article of the underworld, a bank dick. In lieu of your heroism, your valiant, dauntless courage, I have the honor to offer you this position.”

Pierre Watkin - Mr. Skinner

- Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser: Banker?
- Chris Thorne: No, not banker. Financial publisher. "Thorne Weekly"?
- Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser: Ok, banker.

Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser
Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne

“- Female Interviewer: Last place of employment?
- Nada: Denver, Colorado. I worked there for ten years and things just seemed to dry up. They lost fourteen banks in one week. So, well...
- Female Interviewer: There's nothing available for you right now.”
Lucille Meredith - Female Interviewer
Roddy Piper - Nada

“Despite rumours of secret bank accounts and hidden millions, I did not profit personally from my unlawful trading. To be absolutely honest, sometimes I wish I had.”
Ewan McGregor - Nick Leeson

“- Peter Falcone: It's a rip, man. It's a total rip.
- David Falcone: I know. How's the little guy ever supposed to get ahead? They won't give you a loan unless ya already got the money. It's totally scatalogical.”

Peter Paul - Peter Falcone
David Paul - David Falcone