“I've been in consultation with our Director and we've decided that what has been needed in this bank for a long time is a special officer. Or, to refer to the article of the underworld, a bank dick. In lieu of your heroism, your valiant, dauntless courage, I have the honor to offer you this position.”

Pierre Watkin - Mr. Skinner

“Despite rumours of secret bank accounts and hidden millions, I did not profit personally from my unlawful trading. To be absolutely honest, sometimes I wish I had.”
Ewan McGregor - Nick Leeson

“- Peter Falcone: It's a rip, man. It's a total rip.
- David Falcone: I know. How's the little guy ever supposed to get ahead? They won't give you a loan unless ya already got the money. It's totally scatalogical.”

Peter Paul - Peter Falcone
David Paul - David Falcone

“- Loan Officer: Do you have any assets?
- Laurel Ayres: I have drive and courage and ambition. And if you'll look at the prospectus, you'll notice that I have a very, very sound business mind too.
- Loan Officer: I was thinking more like stocks, bonds, property.”
Jean De Baer - Loan Officer
Whoopi Goldberg - Laurel Ayres

“- Chris Thorne: Come on, death for running a stop sign?
- Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser: And for being a banker! That's the double death.”

Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne
Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser