“- Ted: You never told me you had a twin sister.
- Jack Sadelstein: No, no, I mean, she's...
- Ted: Identical or fraternal?
- Todd: Nocturnal, like a bat.”
Tim Meadows - Ted
Adam Sandler - Jack Sadelstein

“- Sophie: You know what comes next?
- Bill: Well, you're not going to tell me that you have a twin sister, are you?”

Amanda Seyfried - Sophie
Stellan Skarsgård - Bill

“My sister, who swiped every guy I ever had my eye on, has now swiped the last guy in the whole freaked out world!”
Kelli Maroney - Samantha Belmont

“- Granny: Your only sister, all alone in the wood, and nobody there to save her. Poor little lamb.
- Rosaleen: Why couldn't she save herself?
- Granny: You don't know anything, you're only a child.”
Dame Angela Lansbury - Granny
Sarah Patterson - Rosaleen

“- Valerie: It's too badMom and Dad didn't get a divorce before you were born.
- Courtney: I love you, too.”
Robin Stille - Valerie
Jennifer Meyers - Courtney