“By the time I was five, he yelled at me so much, I thought my name was Asshole.”

Al Pacino - Walter

“Have you seen a baby lately? All they do is eat and poop, and then they cry, and they cry when they poop, and poop when they cry.”

Mike Myers - Shrek

“When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about. And that was the beginning of fairies.”
Kelly Macdonald - Peter Pan

“- Sam: Tickle's my favorite thing in the whole world. It's all that's left of Nanny, my blanket.
- Andrew Largeman: Tickle is all that remains. Was there a hurricane or something?
- Sam: Shut up! No, I've had this since I was a baby. It's what they brought me home in from the hospital.”

Natalie Portman - Sam
Zach Braff - Andrew Largeman

“- God: Stinking motherfucking bitch.
- Jeff Cole: What's up with the little man?
- God: Smells like he messed up his diaper.”
LL Cool J - God
Omar Epps - Jeff Cole