Babyhood quotes

“Evelyn Harper-Charlie was a planned baby.
Alan Harper-What was I?
Evelyn Harper-Well, dear, you were a pitcher of margaritas and a gas station condom.
”
Holland Taylor - Evelyn Harper
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“Zoey-I slept like a baby.
Lyndsey Mackelroy-Hope you did not wet the bed.
”
Sophie Winkleman - Zoey
Courtney Thorne-Smith - Lyndsey Mackelroy

“Pregnant women should never stand on their tippy-toes, or else the baby will come out all cross-eyed.”
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“The Pill's like 50 bucks a month, that's more than it costs to raise a damn baby.”
Kat Dennings - Max Black

“Me in those pearls is like a monkey in baby clothes. Just plain wrong.”
Kat Dennings - Max Black

“Ellie Reed-He's twice your size!
Young Adam-Everybody is twice my size, I have seen babies bigger than me...”
Jennifer Garner - Ellie Reed
Walker Scobell - Young Adam

“A mother feeding her child is the most beautiful picture in the world.”
Stephen Collins - Rev. Eric Camden

“Having babies doesn’t mean you can’t be rock and roll!”
Todd Lowe - Zack Van Gerbig

“My mom died having her, so I raised her from a baby. Dad didn’t do anything before he gave up. He quit. I didn’t. I don’t quit. Not on Katie.”
Sandra Bullock - Ruth Slater

“You know my philosophy when it comes to cats, babies, and apologies. You gotta let them come to you.”
Jason Sudeikis - Ted Lasso

“We want our babies born free like they supposed to be.”
Cynthia Erivo - Harriet

“If it’s a girl, Phoebe. And if it’s a boy, Pheebo.”
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay

“Steve has to prove he had a worse childhood than anybody else. Only one other person I know can compete with him and that’s Charles Bronson.”
James Coburn On Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson

“I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way.”
Charlize Theron - Libby Day

“- Sly: What's the one thing grown-ups fear most about us babies?
- Duby: Dirty diapers!
- Sly: You're wrong!
- Duby: Well, they make those stupid faces when they change our diapers!
- Sly: It's our intelligence, everyone, our intelligence.”
Leo Fitzgerald - Sly
Zachary Handy - Duby

“Hey, hey she has a job! You kids are her job!”

Sam Rockwell - Eric Bowen

“- Lynn Watson: Why do you keep looking at me?
- Ms. Jones: It's my job. I'm your babysitter.
- Lynn Watson: I'm not a baby.
- Ms. Jones: Oh, you're a big girl?
- Lynn Watson: I'm not a big girl, but I'm not a baby.”

Courtney Chase - Lynn Watson
Roma Maffia - Ms. Jones

“- Lil DeVille: Um, Bobfather, we found this in our crib.
- Angelica: Well that's what you get for wiping your boogers on Cynthia.
- Phil DeVille: So that's where I left them.”

Kath Soucie - Lil DeVille
Cheryl Chase - Angelica
Kath Soucie - Phil DeVille

“I want to do something with him that's his first time. I’m gonna look in his face when he tries ice cream. Every time he has ice cream for the rest of his life, he's gonna see my fucking face.”
Ryan Gosling - Luke

“I started reading comics when I was a kid.”
Marc Webb

“Chiunque sia rinchiuso in prigione per crimini violenti ha avuto un'infanzia da incubo.”
Rob Reiner

“- Sam: Tickle's my favorite thing in the whole world. It's all that's left of Nanny, my blanket.
- Andrew Largeman: Tickle is all that remains. Was there a hurricane or something?
- Sam: Shut up! No, I've had this since I was a baby. It's what they brought me home in from the hospital.”

Natalie Portman - Sam
Zach Braff - Andrew Largeman

“When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about. And that was the beginning of fairies.”
Kelly Macdonald - Peter Pan

“- Ricky Bobby: Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in your golden, fleece diapers, with your curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawin' at the air...
- Chip: He was a man! He had a beard!
- Ricky Bobby: I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?”
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby
Ted Manson - Chip

“- Norby: Did a baby get off this bus? A little guy about two feet tall. It's an emergency!
- Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.
- Norby: He was by himself!”
Joe Pantoliano - Norby
Dan Frick - Bus Driver