Babyhood quotes

“If it’s a girl, Phoebe. And if it’s a boy, Pheebo.”
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay

“Steve has to prove he had a worse childhood than anybody else. Only one other person I know can compete with him and that’s Charles Bronson.”
James Coburn On Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson

“I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way.”
Charlize Theron - Libby Day

“- Sly: What's the one thing grown-ups fear most about us babies?
- Duby: Dirty diapers!
- Sly: You're wrong!
- Duby: Well, they make those stupid faces when they change our diapers!
- Sly: It's our intelligence, everyone, our intelligence.”
Leo Fitzgerald - Sly
Zachary Handy - Duby

“Hey, hey she has a job! You kids are her job!”

Sam Rockwell - Eric Bowen

“- Lynn Watson: Why do you keep looking at me?
- Ms. Jones: It's my job. I'm your babysitter.
- Lynn Watson: I'm not a baby.
- Ms. Jones: Oh, you're a big girl?
- Lynn Watson: I'm not a big girl, but I'm not a baby.”

Courtney Chase - Lynn Watson
Roma Maffia - Ms. Jones

“- Lil DeVille: Um, Bobfather, we found this in our crib.
- Angelica: Well that's what you get for wiping your boogers on Cynthia.
- Phil DeVille: So that's where I left them.”

Kath Soucie - Lil DeVille
Cheryl Chase - Angelica
Kath Soucie - Phil DeVille

“I want to do something with him that's his first time. I’m gonna look in his face when he tries ice cream. Every time he has ice cream for the rest of his life, he's gonna see my fucking face.”
Ryan Gosling - Luke

“I started reading comics when I was a kid.”
Marc Webb

“Chiunque sia rinchiuso in prigione per crimini violenti ha avuto un'infanzia da incubo.”
Rob Reiner

“- Sam: Tickle's my favorite thing in the whole world. It's all that's left of Nanny, my blanket.
- Andrew Largeman: Tickle is all that remains. Was there a hurricane or something?
- Sam: Shut up! No, I've had this since I was a baby. It's what they brought me home in from the hospital.”

Natalie Portman - Sam
Zach Braff - Andrew Largeman

“When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laughbroke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about. And that was the beginning of fairies.”
Kelly Macdonald - Peter Pan

“- Ricky Bobby: Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in your golden, fleece diapers, with your curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawin' at the air...
- Chip: He was a man! He had a beard!
- Ricky Bobby: I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?”
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby
Ted Manson - Chip

“- Norby: Did a baby get off this bus? A little guy about two feet tall. It's an emergency!
- Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.
- Norby: He was by himself!”
Joe Pantoliano - Norby
Dan Frick - Bus Driver

“Have you seen a baby lately? All they do is eat and poop, and then they cry, and they cry when they poop, and poop when they cry.”

Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Jeff Blue: I was walking at 8 months.
- Jane Blue: You were walking at a year and a half. Your mother was ready to call in specialists.”
Dennis Quaid - Jeff Blue
Kathleen Turner - Jane Blue

“By the time I was five, he yelled at me so much, I thought my name was Asshole.”

Al Pacino - Walter

“A baby's got to do what a baby's got to do!”
Christine Cavanaugh - Chuckie Finster

“- God: Stinking motherfucking bitch.
- Jeff Cole: What's up with the little man?
- God: Smells like he messed up his diaper.”
LL Cool J - God
Omar Epps - Jeff Cole

“- Peter Mitchell: All we have to do is feed it, it'll shut up.
- Michael Kellam: I don't know what babies eat.
- Peter Mitchell: Soft stuff. We were babies once, for Christ's sakes, what did we eat?
- Michael Kellam: I don't know, but it couldn't have been very good, I can't remember!”
Tom Selleck - Peter Mitchell
Steve Guttenberg - Michael Kellam

“- Margaret Wade: You know why men are so lousy when it comes to taking care of babies?
- Dennis Mitchell: They have better things to do.
- Margaret Wade: Like what? Play golf and drink beer?
- Dennis Mitchell: No, like hunting, having wars, driving cars, shaving, cleaning fish.”
Amy Sakasitz - Margaret Wade
Mason Gamble - Dennis Mitchell