“- David Clark: Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon?
- Brad Gurdlinger: I am. Yo soy Pablo Chacon. You don't get a lot of respect from the Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?”
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark
Ed Helms - Brad Gurdlinger

- Helen Caperelli: Mike...
- Mike Wallace: Mike? "Mike"! Try "Mr. Wallace". We work in the same corporation doesn't mean we work in the same profession.
Gina Gershon - Helen Caperelli
Christopher Plummer - Mike Wallace

“Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age, we didn't have food!”
Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos

“- Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh.
- Marcus Burnett: Say what?
- Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.”
Téa Leoni - Julie Mott
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett

“- Lorraine: Hi Mike, I'm Lorraine.
- Mike: Like the quiche.
- Lorraine: Like the quiche? That's a really original joke.”
Heather Graham - Lorraine
Jon Favreau - Mike