“- Peaches: I'm having a dinner party Friday night, we're short one man. - Oscar Madison: How about Abe here, he's a short man. - Peaches: You can run Oscar, but you can't hide! See ya. - Oscar Madison: Oh, that's such an original expression. I hate a woman who talks like Muhammed Ali.”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
“- Adam: What we need is a higher female-to-male ratio, like in cool nightclubs, you know, where they let in five times as many women as men. - Noah: How are we gonna get five times as many women to show up? - Adam: We have a party but we call it a fundraiser.”
Zak Orth - Adam
Jimmi Simpson - Noah
- Frank: This guy comes up to me and he says: "l like my women like my coffee". - Janice: People still use that line? - Frank: Maybe he meant cold and bitter.
Joey Slotnick - Frank Chase
Mary Randle - Janice Walton
“- Guy Cipriani: No wedding! - Connie Cipriani: We got 300 people coming here. - Guy Cipriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!”
Paul Sorvino - Guy Cipriani
Veronica Cartwright - Connie Cipriani
“- Zeus: Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration. - Hades: Love to, babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.”
Rip Torn - Zeus
James Woods - Hades
