“- Gillian Bromley: It doesn't trouble you that blackmail is, in fact, against the law?
- Chief Insp. Cyril Willis: Policemen are constantly breaking the law. It's one of the many ways we have of upholding it.”
Lesley-Anne Down - Gillian Bromley
David Niven - Chief Insp. Cyril Willis

“- Cynthia Webb: Isn't this breaking and entering?
- Divinci: I don't know, I'm homicide, we don't learn that stuff.”

Lela Rochon - Cynthia Webb
Jim Belushi - Det. Frank Divinci

“- Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
- Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
- Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
- Clark Griswold: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Sheriff Loomis: I've been waitin' to catch you guys in the act. Been waitin' and watchin'.
- Packard Walsh: Congratulations. You caught us talking. There's no law against that, is there officer? Unless of course I got my wires crossed and you caught us speaking without a permit.”
Randy Quaid - Sheriff Loomis
Nick Cassavetes - Packard Walsh

“- Corky Romano: I never thought I'd live to see the day that an FBI agent would be peddling smack.
- Agent Brick Davis: Don't act so surprised. J. Edgar Hoover used to wear a dress.
- Corky Romano: Just tell me why, Brick.
- Agent Brick Davis: I don't know. I suppose it made him feel sexy.
- Corky Romano: Not Hoover. You!”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano
Matthew Glave - Agent Brick Davis