“- Jack Payne: You know what they say is the first thing that a man feels when he shoots a civilian?
- Bob Lee Swagger: The recoil of the rifle?
- Jack Payne: [snickers] Yeah.
- Bob Lee Swagger: Very original.”
Elias Koteas - Jack Payne
Mark Wahlberg - Bob Lee Swagger

“- Timon: That worked like a dream.
- Pumbaa: It did?
- Timon: Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?”

Nathan Lane - Timon
Ernie Sabella - Pumbaa

“- Moly: You guys are top-flight security, best in the whole wide world. You have to defend this whole place with your own lives.
- Day-Day: And I'd die for this shit too. ”
Maz Jobrani - Moly
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“Douche-bags are hygienic products; I take that as a compliment. Thank you.”
Gabriel Millman - Keith - Caped Boy

“Well guys, we've made it to the end of the summer in one piece, except for a few campers who are lepers. ”
Janeane Garofalo - Beth