Ed Wynn quotes
“I've found a formula for avoiding these exaggerated fears of age; you take care of every day - let the calendar take care of the years.”
“- Mad Hatter: What's the matter my dear, don't you care for tea?
- Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea.
- March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!”
“No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.”
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“- Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
- Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
- March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
- Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.”
“I was downtown last week and saw a building as old as I am. It looked terrible.”
“Every radish I ever pulled up seemed to have a mortgage attached to it.”
“A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.”
- Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
- Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful.
- Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. In the morning, I says, "How you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh, not... (continue)(continue reading)