“Carpool” quotes

Movie Carpool
Title Carpool
Year 1996
Director Arthur Hiller
Genre Comedy
Plot – Franklin runs the Luna Park of his family but he has too many debts, so he decides to plan a robbery. The same morning Daniel, an advertiser, is about to live the most important day of his career. With his kids he stops for breakfast in the same place where Franklin is performing his robbery. When the crime fails, he takes hostage Daniel and his sons.
All actors – Tom Arnold, David Paymer, Rhea Perlman, Rod Steiger, Kim Coates, Rachael Leigh Cook, Mikey Kovar, Micah Gardener, Jordan Warkol, Colleen Rennison, Ian Tracey, John Tench
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  • “- Lt. Serdman: I'd say you picked the wrong store to rob this time, pal.
    - Franklin Laszlo: Excuse me, Lieutenant but I am not robbing this store.
    - Lt. Serdman: I suppose that's a bag of donuts you got there right?
    - Franklin Laszlo: They don't even serve donuts here, you should know that, you're a cop.”

    Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
  • “- Daniel Miller: Can't one of the neighbors drive the carpool? What about Mr. Kopek?
    - Mrs. Miller: He's 88.
    - Daniel Miller: So he'll drive real slow.
    - Mrs. Miller: He's had three strokes.
    - Daniel Miller: But never while driving.”

    David Paymer - Daniel Miller
    Stellina Rusich - Mrs. Miller
    [Tag:ability, age, driving]
  • “I ate mud once. Tasted okay. But they had to take me to the hospital and pump my stomach and I met a guy with a monkey heart!”
    Jordan Warkol - Travis
    [Tag:heart, hospital]
  • “- Franklin Laszlo: We could use a nut like you down at the carnival. Ever bite the head off a chicken?
    - Mr. Hammerman: Not lately.”

    Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
    Rod Steiger - Mr. Hammerman
  • “- Franklin Laszlo: Who farted? Did you cut the cheese, Dan?
    - Daniel Miller: For God's sake, no I did not.
    - Franklin Laszlo: How about you, Kayla?
    - Kayla: Girls don't fart.”

    Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
    David Paymer - Daniel Miller
    Rachael Leigh Cook - Kayla
    [Tag:girl, habit, stink]
  • “I'm not a perfect person. I see a buck on the ground, I pick it up. Sometimes I take more than 10 items right through the express lane, and I have a temper, like my neighbor plays his music too loud. So I killed him, I cut him up and I put him in my freezer. I'm just kidding! Just breaking the tension!”
    Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
  • “- Franklin Laszlo: Great tape. This is yours?
    - Daniel Miller: Oh yeah, I got everything by the Screaming Idiots.
    - Franklin Laszlo: This is the Ramones, actually, I haven't heard the Idiots yet, maybe you can turn me on to them.”

    Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
    David Paymer - Daniel Miller
    [Tag:music, musicians]
  • “- Franklin Laszlo: Where are your donuts?
    - Todd: Sir, we're a gourmet market.
    - Franklin Laszlo: Okay, where are your gourmet donuts?”

    Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo
    Shawn Macdonald - Todd
    [Tag:food, place]
  • “- Old Lady: What adorable children.
    - Daniel: You want'em? 'Cause I'll sell them to you real cheap.”

    David Paymer - Daniel Miller
    [Tag:children, money]
  • “- Kayla: How come I never get to be the hostage?
    - Travis: That's because you're a girl.
    - Bucky: Hey, girls can be hostages, too. I mean, we're moving toward the twenty-first century and girls can be whatever they want.”

    Rachael Leigh Cook - Kayla
    Jordan Warkol - Travis
    Micah Gardener - Bucky Miller
    [Tag:girl, power]
  • “- Andrew Miller: Mrs. Karkanie is giving me a do over. She says everyone get's a second chance.
    - Daniel Miller: That's only because she's been married 5 times. Let me tell you something, in the business world there are no second chances.”

    Mikey Kovar - Andrew Miller
    David Paymer - Daniel Miller