“Your dream has come true. Mom's gone. Weak old Dad is here. You can get away with murder. You can do anything you want. Dylan's birthday party is coming up. You can get all hyped up on sugar and cake and go crazy.”

Steve Martin - Tom Baker

“I guess it's about time for our William Tell routine.”
Peter Weller - Bill Lee

“- Bianca Piper: If this was a porn movie, we would not be sitting on a rock having a conversation, you know, you'd be bringing me a pizza or ehm... cleaning my pool.
- Wesley 'Wes' Rush: How old is the porn you are watching?... That is not a thing anymore.”
Mae Whitman - Bianca Piper
Robbie Amell - Wesley Rush

“- Guy Cipriani: No wedding!
- Connie Cipriani: We got 300 people coming here.
- Guy Cipriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!”
Paul Sorvino - Guy Cipriani
Veronica Cartwright - Connie Cipriani

“Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”
Paul Shaffer - Hermes; the Messenger God