“- Janiece: You told me you were a banker...
- Miles Logan: A bank robber!”
Tamala Jones - Janiece
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan

“I hope you guys are insured.”
Michael Oliver - Junior

“- Brian Hope: Look Charlie, some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.
- Charlie McManus: The church isn't selling anything, Brian.”
Eric Idle - Brian Hope
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“- Boolie Werthan: Mama, cars don't behave. They are behaved upon. Fact is, you demolished that Chrysler all by yourself.
- Daisy Werthan: Say what you want, I know the truth.
- Boolie Werthan: The truth is, you just cost the insurance company $2,700. You're a terrible risk. Nobody's gonna want to issue you a policy after this.”
Dan Aykroyd - Boolie Werthan
Jessica Tandy - Daisy Werthan

“- Insurance Salesman: It's not really what I'm selling. But what I have to offer.
- Thane Furrows: What do you have to offer that happens to cost money?
- Insurance Salesman: I offer security.
- Thane Furrows: Insurance.”
Fred Willard - Insurance Salesman
Steve Oedekerk - Thane Furrows