“The problem with the Irish is that they'll sing at the drop of a hat, but ask them to talk and they won't.”
Charles Dance - Soames

- Bill Coles: Can I speak frankly?
- Lawrence Garfield: No. Lie to me! Tell me how thrilled you are to know me. I always speak frankly. I hate people who say "Can we speak frankly?". It means they're bullshittin' me the rest of the time.
Dean Jones - Bill Coles
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“- Cactus Jack: I come to speak with straight tongue.
- Nervous Elk: Tongue may be straight, but mouth hide many sharp teeth.”
Kirk Douglas - Cactus Jack
Paul Lynde - Nervous Elk

“- Sally Jackson: I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer.
- Dorian Montier: Oh, can you sing?
- Sally Jackson: No, that's why they call them dreams.”
Drew Barrymore - Sally Jackson
Luke Wilson - Dorian Montier

“Under British law, singing badly is not a crime.”
Oscar James - Miguel